Okay, here goes nothing…. Most of my life I was just your typical sized girl. I was very average, not heavy by any means, but never extremely thin. When I was fifteen I started dating a guy seriously who I will call “Joe”. We were madly “in love” and continued dating for three years. I turned 18, moved out and we started having some issues, we broke up and I was devastated! I literally had no appetite for weeks!! So I lost about 15 pounds without even thinking, people noticed and started complimenting me on my weight loss. I also started getting a ton of attention from new guys. I continued to have no appetite and ate very little. I did anything to keep my mind of Joe and that involved not sitting down for a meal. I was soon very thin, but people continued to ask how I lost the weight, and complement me. This soon became a viscous eating disorder that I could not escape. For the next two years of my life I struggled with anorexia. Joe and me even got back together during the process, but I was so obsessed with being thin I could not stop starving myself. I was soon hospitalized and told if I didn’t eat, I would not live. I begin eating again with a vengeance! I had staved myself for so long I no longer knew how to listen to my body. I never knew when I was truly hungry and when I was full. I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. It was like a switch flipped and every bit of my anorexia was gone and I was now a binge eater!! I gained 80 pounds within 6 months. I was humiliated; I never wanted to see anyone. I knew they all knew I was binging all the time!! Well here I am about a year and a half into recovery and I’m almost back to my pre anorexic weight. I am finally regaining a healthy relationship with food and not binging all the time, although I do still stuff myself at times. I want to lose about 15 – 20 pounds in a healthy manner and be able to keep it off!! SO my plan is 300 calories every 3 hours 5 times a day to equal 1500 calories a day. I want to lose the weight slowly so it will stay off. Yesterday was my first day on this new plan and here is how it went…… I started out doing well;

I had two eggs, some cheese and half a banana at 10. This is later then my first meal would typically be. I felt full and headed out for a few hours I knew I would be out and about longer then three hours so I packed some almonds and an apple for my next 300 calories at 1. I was still a little hungry after this, but decided to wait a while and see how I felt. Before I knew it, it was almost time to eat again. I was still not home and had not packed another snack. OH NO! I decided I would get a smoothie from Starbucks, the vivanno ones that only have 270 calories. I pulled up to the window and placed my order, she said OH! Were out of bananas is that ok?? I honestly laughed at her! How can I have a chocolate banana smoothie without bananas!? I thought this in my head and then said no thanks, well Starbucks being as popular as they are I passed another one and was able to get my chocolate banana smoothie. I then had to go by the store to pick up dinner and a few other things. I still felt so hungry and I ended up getting a box of gluten free crackers. Back in November I stopped eating gluten for health reasons and stick to a gluten free diet pretty religiously. I have eaten gluten a few times since. Well, you could have 16 of these crackers for 130 calories so if I only ate 16 I knew I would be fine!! Well I ended up having like 30 and for some reason felt absolutely stuffed!!!! I was so upset that I already messed up and over ate, but I was determined to not let it get me down! I knew my boyfriend was coming over at seven to workout and I would still be well within my calorie range. So we worked out and then afterwards I made tacos and I only had one, so overall my first day went well. Today has gone great. I have eaten my 300 calories about every 3 hours and I feel really well!!! I think this is going to work for me. I am so ready to be back down to a weight I am comfortable with and be confident for bikini season! I will keep you all posted!

Go here to read the rest:
Journey From Anorexia to Binge Eating to Sensible Eating [Forum]