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It Chooses You

admin — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 17:22:00 +0000

Good morning! Did you guys get any snow yesterday? So far we just have a dusting, it’s mostly cold and windy. Is it bad that I’m hoping for at least one big snow this winter? Yesterday’s breakfast was so good. I had one of Jeanne’s eggs fried in butter, a couple of slices of peach ham, a clementine and a small slice of banana bread. I ended up not eating more than a bite of the banana bread because I got overzealous with reheating it in the microwave. I think a loaf of banana bread is in my future. Lunch was really late in the day so I kept it small. A shared chicken burrito, half of an avocado, and salsa. Dinner took forever to cook, but it was so worth it. I made tandoori chicken burgers with yogurt cucumber sauce and naan. I topped the burgers with cucumber, red onion and cilantro. It was amazing. The chicken patties were tender and had a lot of Indian spice flavor to them. I also really liked the cumin in the cucumber sauce. I didn’t get a good photo of the burgers because it was 9pm and I didn’t feel like pulling out the natural lights, but these were amazing. I’ll definitely be making them again. You can find the recipe for the tandoori chicken burgers here . The only difference for me was the chicken. I used whole chicken breasts and ground them up in the food processor with the spices. The naan recipe is here . I did not exercise yesterday and can tell it’s going to be hard at first to get back into the swing of things. I woke up early to exercise and then waited for Josh and then just kept putting it off until we were both too tired. I think honestly we were both excited to get back to work and have a normal day that it took second seat to everything else. No excuses today though. I’m almost done reading It Chooses You by Miranda July. Oh my. It’s so very interested and surprisingly sad and deep. Miranda’s comments about life, time and death feel so familiar to what goes on in my own head that it’s comforting to read the words from someone else. While writing or trying to write a screen play she decides to seek out the people from the LA Penny Saver for interviews. What she finds is a whole lot of crazy in a world that exists without the internet.

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It Chooses You

Resound11 Prompt 10: High/Low

admin — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 15:46:49 +0000

Today is a bit of a choose your own adventure: write (paint, draw, photograph, record, etc.) about your best experience this year. If that’s not your cup of joe, write about your worst experience. Feeling chatty? Share both your best and worst moments. How will you resound? There are several best moments this year. The best ones were traveling with Josh, taking a real vacation that involved not much more than walking to dinner, traveling to California for the first time, hosting friends at my house, being hosted at other homes and for the whole of the year finding and sharing time with people who just “get” me and vice versa. I find comfort in my relationships with other people. I wouldn’t say there was a definitive worst moment of the year. Thankfully, for the most part 2011 was smooth sailing. My biggest lesson this year came in a difficult way and that came by giving red flag people the benefit of the doubt repeatedly. I believe (and still do) that most people are good. I like to believe that most people have the best intentions. And then their are others who live purely on the surface. They don’t have relationships with other people, they bring me and everyone else down, they try to fix my life and wave their magic wands so that I can be “better”, they analyze me in a negative way (and most other people), and they get involved in my life and then quickly pull away. They throw stones at how I live my life with my husband. My lesson is, is that I’m not always crazy and overly sensitive when I have red flag feelings about people, I don’t always have to get involved with these people. I don’t have to give them permission to bring me down. It’s okay to simply say no and move on. There are people who think that my life “isn’t together” because I’m not on the exterior, always a together person. We don’t drive a fancy car because we are waiting for our current car to die, this bothers some people. We didn’t buy the fanciest or most expensive house in town. This means that we are “poor” and our house is “too small” to entertain. My husband doesn’t shave every day and has wild and crazy hair, this means he is “irresponsible and not a real adult”. We don’t have children so we are “selfish”. We work from home and this means we are “unemployed”. Yes, these people exist, and yes, I finally understand what it means to have civil relationships all the while giving them a big “f-you” and moving on. It feels Awesome, with a capital A.

When I Wake Up Tomorrow

admin — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 17:08:40 +0000

First, thank you to those who took the time to comment and participate during the Waiting For Hunger challenge. And then my life got really busy and blogging got pushed down to the bottom. And that’s just how it goes. I’m still waiting for hunger and would love to revisit this challenge again in the very near future, because writing during the day is helpful for me. I have to admit that things got foggy right when I stopped blogging my experience. I’ve had so much going on that I still turned to food. Emotional eating is real. I have been a participant my whole life. Who am I to be changed in a week? It’s an ongoing process. The question I’m asking myself is, how do I stick to my goals when life gets busy? I love being busy, I love getting things done, productivity is a huge portion of my happiness. But, there are times when I feel like I’m spinning my wheels, or don’t know where to start. I get overwhelmed. I put things off. And those are the times when I find myself in the kitchen looking for something to eat. Hungry or not. My work life doesn’t end at 5pm. I don’t shut down the computer and head for home to watch TV and make dinner. I do both things, almost daily, but then I head back to work. Because I love it. There are times when I overextend myself and end up coping or punishing myself with food. Busy for me, is starting a clothing line (that opens in two days!), creating jewelry, updating and working on all my blogs (there are four), checking and sifting through many emails, making sure I’m on top of all my design deadlines, cooking and cleaning (lots of both), juggling meetings and office time, finding new work, creating new experiences for myself and making time to rest, be social, have husband time and most importantly exercise. And I love these aspects of my life so much, they are why I wake up happy in the morning. I love that I have the freedom to choose my day. I want to use my time better, in realizing that my life is my own pattern and if there is something I need to happen. It’s up to me to make it happen. So with that said, I feel like there are a few hurdles that I need to jump before making my life work for me in the healthiest possible way. The first one is self-worth and self-esteem. So often I get kind compliments/comments from people regarding the way I live my life. A way that seems natural to me. And I often feel like I’m just pretending. That any minute someone will raise the curtain and find out how bad I really am at everything I do. And it’s crazy. My negative voice is loud and it haunts me. It tells me what other people could be thinking about me. It criticizes my decisions. It makes me feel worthless and uninteresting. It tells me that people know I’m not smart and are just humoring me. It tells me that I will never make things happen in a real way. It tells me that I’m not worth goodness. And often I have conversations in my head are along the lines of “they will think this of me if I do that”, “so and so doesn’t really like me”, “they think I’m an idiot”. But, I realize that people do not think that, I think that about myself. And then I step down from it and move on. I was reading a Blogging Your Way e-course description that read “… [we will] show(s) you how to use your blog as a catalyst to create your best life.” And out loud I said, yes! That one sentence is why I blog. I blog because I show myself how to live my best life. I challenge myself to think a little longer and to put myself out there when it is uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable is a good thing if you’re willing to face it. And I’m trying to face it. I was reading quotes from Steve Jobs from his Stanford Speech and this one stood out “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” I just love the second to last line. I want to have the courage to make mistakes and face them. As I was sewing a scarf of my own design yesterday evening. I realized that I made a mistake in the construction. I needed three closures instead of two or would look weird. And so I pulled out my seam ripper, took a deep breath, and starting breaking my imperfect seams. This was a challenge for me on several levels. I first had to admit that I made a mistake. And then I had to face the mistake and make a decision. Do I scrap the project and call myself a failure? Do I keep going, pretending that I didn’t make the mistake and sit on a bad project that doesn’t make me proud? Or do I suck it up and try again. I chose the latter, but not without wincing. I was uncomfortable. I sat with it and walked myself through a game plan. I would rip the seam. Make another loop. Position the loops again and sew the seam back up. And while it’s just sewing I learned many lessons about myself in the process. The first lesson is that I’ve been scared to face my mistakes. I’ve been covering them up and punishing myself for not being perfect the first time. The second lesson is making a decision. So often, I walk (or run) away from myself or others instead of facing what is uncomfortable. Instead of making a plan of action, I drop the ball. And finally, I learned that I struggle with feelings of inferiority and discomfort and when faced with them, I eat. And so when I revisited the “Ideal Day” task, I started asking myself “If I could wake up tomorrow, what would I like to be different?”. I sat down with a new word document and typed. I typed a story that I was picturing each step of the way. I pictured myself waking up in a bedroom where clothes weren’t piling up on the floor. Where the clean sheets were soft and the bed was plush. I walked to the bathroom and stepped on the scale. 135 blinked back at me. My hair was long and shiny. My body is not perfect, but strong. I pull my hair back. Put on workout clothes. Get my ipod ready and I head out for a jog. Because that is where I feel free and weightless. It’s early, but not dark. I’m rested. I head back to the house and fix a nice breakfast. I sit down and enjoy it with my husband. We talk. I read a little. I take a shower and get dressed for the day. I head to my bright studio and return emails. I work for four hours on projects. I meet design deadlines. I feel accomplished. I’m on top of my work and not stressed. I’m not behind. And then I go make lunch. I take my time eating. Or some days I meet a friend for lunch. And take a short walk outside. I might have a dog to walk. I head back in and work on creative projects through the evening. I take time to learn new skills. I’m patient with myself. I document my process and day, because I love doing those things. I take time to blog and plan my blogs. I do a little cleaning and then I make something glorious for dinner. The house is clean and organized. Every room is decorated to my (our) taste. So eat and enjoy some sort of exercise like zumba or yoga. I settle in for the night with a project and TV with Josh. Or I come back to my creative space if I want. I spend time with Josh. I brush my teeth and wash my face before bed. I crawl into our plush bed. That’s the shortened version, but sums up my ideal day. And then I went back and put all the words in bold that I could make happen today. 98% of that, I could have within the week. That says something. It says something about how I intentionally bring myself down. That I don’t always believe I’m worth the effort. That what makes me happy is within my reach. And all those actions on my ideal day, help bring me to the 1% that won’t happen in a week. Which is a much lower, much healthier (for me) weight. I’ve inspired myself to live my ideal day and set up my life and environment for it. I’m not expecting perfection, but I can do better for myself. I really can. There are things that I’m not doing because I don’t feel worthy. It’s bull crap. It really is. I’m worth whatever I need to make my ideal day happen.

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When I Wake Up Tomorrow

People Who Handle Your Food Work Sick

admin — Sat, 13 Nov 2010 15:54:16 +0000

Have you ever actually found a fly in your soup? I haven’t. I’ve seen it in cartoons, but in real life? No, never. Unless you’re eating at an outdoor caf� in Calcutta, you’re probably safe from rabid winged pests. But apparently food service workers are a bigger threat to your dinner than Musca domestica Linnaeus; a new study says many food restaurant employees go to work sick, and don’t get sick days. Continue reading…

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People Who Handle Your Food Work Sick

Skinny People Taught to Hate Overweight People? [Forum]

admin — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 10:56:27 +0000

From what i have experienced with weight loss is that i am still not at the weight i need to be but on this journey i have built the satisfaction as an individual to understand other people and know for a fact that everyone struggles with something, no matter what our physical appearance is and that if we all worked on ourselves and got to know who we are we would treat others better on a daily basis. I would love to know what others think about skinny people being taught to hate or dislike someone who is overweight?

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Skinny People Taught to Hate Overweight People? [Forum]

Link Time! Kale Chips, Gluten-Free, and More

admin — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 10:00:29 +0000

A new study shows that vegetables may not reduce the risk of developing cancer after all, but that’s no reason to quit trying to get in your five to nine servings a day , says Well blog. Potato chips — salty, crunchy, and full of fat. Kale chips — salty, crunchy, and full of antioxidants . A veggie venture has an easy recipe for this quick and healthy alternative to a bag of chips. Straight cardio workouts aren’t as popular as they used to be, but a reader of Tom Venuto claims that cardio will kill you. Read Tom’s much more measured answer. Where do you stand on the safety and efficiency of cardio ? A lot of people go gluten-free out of necessity. But, the restrictive diet is becoming trendier among celebrities, and other people who like fad diets. Vitamin G wants to know, would you try it? Tired of your boring old workout gear? Or, maybe you’d just like a little fun with your fitness. Handmade hub Etsy has some creative workout gear , and Social Workout picks out their favorites. If you’ve got a tendency to develop shin splints , then you know they can slow down your walking and running workouts. FitSugar has some great tips for preventing this painful condition. What’s your excuse for not exercising today? Divine Caroline has five common workout excuses and how to beat them. How do you stay motivated to exercise ?

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Link Time! Kale Chips, Gluten-Free, and More

Do You Buy Healthier Foods for Yourself or Others?

admin — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 10:00:20 +0000

sxc.hu: nosheep Perhaps you find yourself pushing cake and cookies on your friends and family when they come to visit. It seems to be the norm in many households, and most people don’t want to offend the host by refusing. Well, a study published in the Journal of Consumer Research , found that consumers choose foods which are less healthy when they are buying for other people. Continue reading…

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Do You Buy Healthier Foods for Yourself or Others?

[Forum] Serious Body Issues: How Can I Help My Friend?

admin — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 11:00:59 +0000

I basically got an account just so I could get some advice on this problem that I’m having… My best friend is a cutter. Now, I don’t know anything about cutting or depression or anything like that but I know cutting is a serious issue. She started cutting in high school (about five years ago) and she stopped. She went through a lot of crap in high school which made her self-esteem plummet and she suffers from anxiety attacks, and her family has a history of mental conditions. She used to be a gymnist but she stopped gymnastics because of her bad bones in grade nine. And the result of it was bad joints, bones, and large upper arms. The arms is her major problem. Becuase of them, she doesn’t wear short-sleeved shirts, or dresses, or anythign that bares her arms. And her upper arms is where she cuts. I was always friends with her but we became best friends after graduating highschool. That’s when she confided in me her past (she cut, she was a binge eater, was severely depressed and suffered from mental attacks due to her being on improper use of birth control) but she told me that she was over it. And for a little bit, she was. But last winter, she again, got depressed (she doesnt know what the cause was) and made an attempt at suicide, but backed out at the last minute. Then she went through a feeling okay phase. I spent a good summer with her and we had a lot of fun. By the end of summer though she started feeling “fat” again. I’d just like to say that she is five feet tall and weighs less then 110 pounds and believe me, she is petite. Her arms are muscular though due to gymnastics. So I told her to come with me to the gym. I’d been going for the last two years consistently and although I didn’t lose a lot of weight (I wasn’t looking to, anyway), the gym makes me feel good about myself. She agreed and got a gym membership. Every week, while we walked home from the gym together, she would say things like “So it’s been 2/3/4 weeks, and I haven’t lost anything. I might as well give up.” But she kept on going. Then a few months ago she started to tell me that if she didn’t look perfect by the time she was thirty, she would just die. She said she didn’t understand how older people could be “fat” and be okay with themselves. And she said stuff about giving up and why should she bother trying at anything. She would say it jokingly, but it scared me. And then she told me she started cutting. She did it two times in a period of about three months. This was last month, and she hasn’t been cutting since then. I told her that she needs to talk to her psychologist and I’ve told her (the obvious) that cutting is not the solution…And she tells me that since im not a cutter i dont understand what it’s like. She says the cutting she does is not the suicide-type but it’s a release from the pain. She says she would turn to alcohol instead but her father is an alcoholic so she doesnt do it. She tells me that it’s harmless. And…I just DON’T know what to do. I feel like I should tell her family if it’s life-threatening but her cutting isn’t life-threatening. She’s not suicidal anymore (but she may become, again…), and her cutting is just when she’s feeling down and like she says, her way of “dealing.” I’m very frusterated and sad when it comes to her because she always says things like “I’m so fat. I need to lose weight.” She won’t go out with other people because she feels self-conscious. She also is trying to control her binging habits from high school. She mostly has it under control because she is over the severe depression of her past but there are times (like the times she cuts) when she eats and eats. after she eats she gets so angry with herself. And to top it all off, I don’t know what sickness this is but I KNOW THAT IT IS. She takes supplements and vitamins by the bulk. She says they’re natural but I don’t care. She takes about twenty pills a day and I don’t understand WHY. I’m not sure what her family is thinking. They see the bottles of pills but I’m not sure they really know what she’s doing. I love her to death. I don’t deal with any of these problems, I’ve always been healthy and I’m an advocate of the gym and it works for me. I’ve tried helping her in the way that I know works for me. She seems okay (emotionally) these days but I’m sure her problems will come back and her cutting and everything else. Plus her attitude with life and herself is affecting me. I like the way that I am but there are days where I’m bloated and jealous of the girl walking down the street with thin legs and I’ll say it and she’ll look at me and say “yep, you need to lose weight”. The thing is I KNOW i don’t have to lose weight but when your best friend says that you should…It sucks. Actually, just yesterday, we worked out for a good hour and I like to treat myself to steaming or using the sauna after a workout. So we were putting on our bathing suits and (she and I tried out a new gym) when it came down to using the steam room, we had to walk past the pool. We basically had to walk twenty steps to get into the room but she couldnt do it because she was in a bathing suit and couldnt bear the thought of walking past people (mainly, guys) in her suit. So I had to give up the steam room, and left the gym kind of bummed. But I find myself spending a lot of time with her to cheer her up and help her, and I’m not complaining…she and I get along fantastic and she truly does care about me, but I feel like she’s kind of a burden. I absolutely hate to put it that way, but it’s the way that I feel. Sorry for the rambling!!! I just feel like I need to vent. There are a bunch of things in this post and I don’t really know which to focus on so I kind of wrote a whole bunch of everything. Anybody who has advice for me, I would greatly appreciate it.

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[Forum] Serious Body Issues: How Can I Help My Friend?

[Forum] Dieting Teen, The Start of Change

admin — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 08:24:38 +0000

A woman’s mind is full of secrets; a woman’s body is one of them. Everywhere I look is something telling me to lose weight, whether it is a magazine, a clothing label or even just the tyre around my stomach, I’m a walking dieting failure. At the age of 10 I had a pair of jeans that fit me like a glove I loved them so much and wore them every weekend, I remember thinking I’m fat when these jeans don’t fit me anymore. I was 10 of course they won’t fit me 5 years down the line. But I wish they did. I love food, that’s my fall back. I look around at other people and wish I had their stomach or their body in general. I’m no loner, I’ve got an amazing set of friends and a great boyfriend and I know they will always be there for me, fat or thin. But I’ve never been thin, I was a chubby child and now well it’s gone downhill since. I’ve tried to eat less, and exercise more I went running a bit last summer, but no luck. This is my last ditch chance to lose weight, a diary of what I do, it won’t be all food and exercise some fun too basically to see where the fat teens of today are going wrong. An experiment if you want. Let me fill you in on my situation, I’m 15 years old and I’m 11 stone 4 pounds, I’m classed as overweight and one mark off obese. I’m only 5 foot 2. Read my diary and help me and maybe yourself, we might be the same, have the same problems, the same hopes, of a thin, attractive body. Please enlighten me on programs that have worked on you or others.

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[Forum] Dieting Teen, The Start of Change

5 Great Tips On Losing Weight

admin — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 17:34:43 +0000

Everyone you talk to seems to have dozens of tips on losing weight. Some are good common sense tips, but some seem to come out of left field. Even people who can’t seem to successfully lose weight and keep it off, seem happy to offer up tips and advice to other people. That’s

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5 Great Tips On Losing Weight